FIGHT!

Meditating on scripture is key to a victorious Christian life!
I have recently started really filling up myself with scripture and going it over in my head throughout the day. When I start to feel fear or defeated or whatever else. I meditate on it and really try to dig deep down into the meaning of the passage. Today the line that struck out to me was "one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all." Ephesians 4:6

I kept thinking about it trying to wrap my head around the idea that God is overall, through all and in all and what that meant. As I was doing it, suddenly I was filled with the Spirit and was given boldness and courage so I started praying and my prayers had POWER.

We have the Holy Spirit but the gateway that the allows the Holy Spirit to work is through the WORD it all works TOGETHER. The Word is your sword!! So if your unequipped you will be powerless on the battlefield. Satan is so much stronger than us. He has strongholds in our life that we're not even aware of. Thats why we need to FILL our life up with TRUTH and not things of the world. ex. TV shows , music (most of it), etc. Its all NOT of God because we live in a fallen world. A pagan society that worships everything BUT God. GET RID OF IT! STOP KILLING YOUR SOUL.

17"Therefore come out from them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you."
-2 Corinthians 6:17

15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."
1 Peter 1:15-16

I had two dreams last night both about people in my life who I knew.
One was an agnostic girl who I'm really good friends with. She goes to my church sometimes but doesn't really believe. In my dream I was sitting in a club with her facing a bar. She asked me "why don't you go get some drinks?" I started explaining to her how I wasn't into that stuff. She was listening to what I had to say and then suddenly she broke down in my arms and started confessing her brokenness to me.(don't want to go into details)

This really opened my eyes up to the people around me. I knew of her family situation before but whenever we talked about it she would always be so cool about it. I've been praying for her for A LONG time and I guess I never saw her as a broken person ...just a person who had a hardened heart against God and wanted to party all the time. I knew she was broken but I didn't understand or feel it. As fallen people one of our greatest sins is apathy.

The next dream I had was about a girl in my church who is a Christian. In the dream were talking and the Spirit started to move in her heart. She was starting to talk about her brokenness in her relationship with her father and how he abandoned her and all the hate and resentment she had towards him. I was probing her, encouraging her to keep going to fight through it and give in all to The Lord but something was holding her back spiritually. Justin To was beside me the Spirit moved in his heart and he started to pray in tongues interceding for her.

Within the church there are so many brothers and sisters CRYING for support. The evil one wants to suppress them to keep them in a state of infant faith so they don't grow strong and start doing WORK for the Kingdom. There are so few within my own church that have a solid group. Its our job to be an example to lead others in the direction of open fellowship and vulnerability before God. We can't do everything but we do what we can. We need courage to stand and the courage can only come if you immerse yourself in the Word or else your useless, a fallen soldier or noob soldier.

This is a battlefield. Its no game. When you pray you pray for the Kingdom and whatever will bring the most Glory to God. You see the dire situations around you. You see people falling left, right and center and you PRAY for help your PRAY your heart out and then you GO in POWER to be salt and light. (easier said than done, its definitely a long process that we all go through)

Something that God has really convicted me of is my prayer life. To REALLY start praying and not to just give MY daily itinerary and problems and ask God to fix them for me. To cry out on behalf of those who have no voice in front of the Throne of Grace.

As I continue to mature in the Lord I am slowly being filled with more courage and boldness, but I also have times when I'm paralyzed by fear unable to move forward.

I hope you know I say ALL these things in love because I want you to see more clearly and through the lies of the god of this age. Don't feel discouraged! We are all growing and God is working in us to grow. However, DON'T use that as an excuse to be complacent. NO you MUST take up your cross DAILY and have faith. Its a two way thing.

Keeping praying for me please!
God is turning up the heat.........always hotter no rest. T_T"

Love,
Evangel

Some Cares

My heart is full of fear
Soo scared
Too many burdens to share
The heart of my Father I hear
Do I dare to care?
Or will I pretend to be unaware
Father this more than I can bear
There's so many people out there....
and I fear that they won't be able to hear
so please OPEN they're ears.

Its awesome having a relationship with God
but His heart is just soo big its overwhelming.
It makes me feel so helpless. All I can do is pray.
I want to do more but I know that in the end I can't do anything.
Which is comforting and unsettling at the same time.

Words

So I'm here laying in bed
Trying to get these rhymes out of my head
Suddenly inspired by the Holy fire
Got a few things that I feel convicted to say
Not gonna get rest till He has His way
Never thought words could come this
Maybe It'll only be heard like this.

stop trying to save face
just look to his amazing grace
no more pride
stop trying to hide
cuz deep inside
We're all deprived
The steeple is place for broken people
To come cry to the Living God
To turn away from all the idol frauds
To worship the great Physician
But now we worship the music and musicians
The church is spinning out of control
Our faith thrown to and fro

In debt we're spending more than we can get
The market temple that He drove out
We raised back up because of doubt
Twisting the will of our Heavenly Father
The way we are going our souls will be slaughtered

In the congregational worship
It ain't no worship
Dead souls sitting in pews
Live souls barely getting through
We're getting abused
Using comfort as an excuse
We could so much more if we actually KNEW
Who we were living for!

The banner in our hall says it all
a house of prayer for all the nations
Except we only got one nation in here
Don't even get me started on prayer
is it cuz we fear too much?
We're Markham Chinese Baptist Church
But I don't see Jesus discriminating
So why are we so hating?

Back in the day all the believers did was meet together to pray
Every single day
What happened to that?
Where did things go whack?
Prayer meetings keep getting reduced
There is no excuse

This ain't no church
Its a social convention
Disguised in the name of Heaven
As a church we're a disgrace
before God we should have no face
But thank Him for His amazing grace.

So I pray that you change these heart of stone to hearts of flesh
hearts of stone to hearts of flesh
hearts of stone to hearts of flesh
hearts of stone to hearts of flesh
YES YES YES

Only you can change
Rearrange a revival in Jesus' name
We have no rights
but He's given us the right
so come stand up and fight
Take back the temple that is rightfully yours
Bought by the blood of Jesus our Lord
WORSHIP UNASHAMED
FOR THE GLORY OF JESUS NAME!
FOR HE ALREADY REIGNS!

and please don't get me wrong I'm doing this in love
Cuz I want you to truly experience HIS love

(Just some thoughts that have been on my head for while. Tell me what you think. It wasn't divinely given or anything just to clear that up. It sorta just worked with the whole rhyming thing that I had going >.<)

Evangelizing

Yesterday I felt really convicted to evangelize in public. So I decided to go to the high school near my house. I was actually scared as hell. A million scenarios popped into my head. One of them went something like this:

I'm preaching the gospel. Suddenly a gang of guys come up to me and say "Stop preaching Jesus" In an malicious angry tone. I don't stop, instead I continue to preach the gospel because I want them to know God. They surround me and beat me to a pulp. They decide to kidnap me and see if they can make me renounce my faith. I'm tied up to a chair they tell me "Do you believe in Jesus?" I answer In a a quiet voice "yes" They slowly cut one of my fingers off. I start begging for mercy maybe these men will show some kindness......

Lets stop there shall we?

Fear traps me, paralyzes me.
I fear the price I might have to pay one day for my faith
I also fear falling short of the expectations of being a follower of Christ.

At home I decided to rehearse what I would say to people, as if I were open air preaching on the streets. I rehearsed a quick 1-2 minute mini sermon that encapsulates the core of the Gospel. I never ended up evangelizing openly in public though. Instead I prayed over the school and decided to sit down by the back of the school and tell everyone who passed by me "Hey Did you know that God loves you?"

I got a smirks, laughs, people ignoring me, dirty looks, talking to me like I was crazy, angry atheists telling me there is no God, others yelling at me telling me that there business with God is between them and God and that I should stay out of it.

What I saw were broken people with hardened hearts.
It hurt me when I was insulted but what hurt me more was that these people rejected this truth so easily and didn't even think twice about HOW AWESOME THAT IS! It drove me crazy that they're lives could be changed in an INSTANT that there was something so much better if they just believed! Its something so SIMPLE yet SO HARD.

There were a few who were accepting, some who actually took everything to heart and some who had a different view of God yet listened to mine. You scatter seed and can literally tell what kind of soil it lands on and all you can do is pray to God that He makes it grow. That He takes out the weeds and protects it.

Suddenly everyone walking around me was in need of God. Every person who passed by me was trapped and crying out but didn't want to be saved or maybe they did but there was no one to TELL them.

I went to church and had to try soo frigging hard not to cry.
At the end of the day its only God who can change hearts
and its makes me wonder why did he choose to save me?
I'm no different than any of those people out there......

J.O.Y.

Jesus owns you (literally)
So I was reading my bible yesterday (John 4:43-54, John 5:16-30) and today and that is what the Spirit taught me.

Except I actually felt Him owning me at the same time
I felt His presence inside of me commanding my obedience
I felt the sinful part of me fighting not wanting to listen.
and I felt my heart wanting to be obedient.

The truth is God owns our lives.
His very presence commands our obedience.
When Jesus exercises His divine authority over creation, everything/one will bow down before Him and worship Him. Period. The end.

There is no escape.

For the unbeliever they will do this out of fear and because they're being forced too
For the believer they will do it out of love, gratitude and the healthy fear we should all have towards God.

As sinful people we're uncomfortable with this truth.
But as God works in our hearts He'll take us to a place where we're ok with it.
Jesus was completely submissive to the Father. Just like we should be!

Fellowship of Believers

OK so praying together as a body helps boost your Spiritual walk with God so0oo0o much
especially if your stuck.
Its almost impossible to do it alone without a solid group of believers. The more the better each can help you so much in the unique way that God created them
Which is COOL.

Ok so this concept got brought up today during small group sharing in our discipleship class. Bringing any decision you make to the body of believers to be lifted up in prayer A lot of the time God can and will use others to help confirm His will instead of you trying to figure it out on your own.

At first I was like
"Hmm sound a little cult like"
but when I really thought about it, it made so much sense.
We are the body so any life decision we make will influence the spiritual condition of the rest of the body in one way or another. Now as a whole body we are all connected to the head (Christ) so we work together to discern what the will of the head is for each other.

A lot of the time God can and will use others to help confirm His will instead of you trying to figure it out on your own. Which lets admit is blah.
Just bringing things up to others can open up your eyes to so many more perspectives that helps you get a better understanding of the bigger picture. There should always be a general direction and confirmation among fellow believers.

Wouldn't God be able to do so much more for the Glory of His name if we lifted up all our decisions to Him? Things like:

What university should I go to?
Where should I work?
Do you even want me to go to university?
What ministries should I be a part of?
Should I buy a new car?
Should I buy a house?
Should I start a relationship with this person?

Sound a bit to out there?
hmm I dunno if were suppoed to give our WHOLE lives to God
Then Hey makes a lot of sense to me.

I believe that God works with what we give Him
So if we give Him that much more He will WORK that much more!
What do you guys think?

Last thought:
God is able to smash through so much more when believers gather
and really cry out to God in prayer and seek Him out together!

Struggles

I'm starting to get a little of how Elijah felt.
I'm probably nowhere even close.
How the heck did he do it?
Man I wish I could love God more to really be able to give everything up and live for Him 100%
God really does use the broken imperfect vessel.
Dang God is one big mystery I try not to think about how BIG He is except I can't help it.

What else can I do but worship Him and accept that He owns everything?
A part of me really hates that truth, but another part of me loves it and finds peace in it.

WOAH sanctification yooo heavy stuff. I'm caught in this weird inbetween the world of death and eternal life not really belonging to either well except I am going toward the latter somehow by the power of the Spirit.

Praise God for choosing me and keeping me for Himself, Cuz if I was left to fight for myself there would be hope of me entering His Kingdom.

ok I'm feeling soo disconnected right now
like cloud of darkness hovering over my soul.
I feel like I'm holding too many things back
I'm scared
I wish I could let it go
What is it?
I'm scared of.... having no one left but myself, of being hated by people in my church who aren't really Christian

A Prophet is a speaker of the truth of God, of the light of God
No one has every liked a prophet
No one likes the truth.
There's only one way.....

a Man of God can take nothing with him
He leaves it all behind
All for God
Father help me now
I'm dying.

Uphold me in your righteous right hand.
"Because he loves me says the Lord I will rescue him"

some prayers please.

Jersey Boys

My parents and I went to see Jersey Boys tonight. I wasn't supposed to go but one of their friends dropped out last minute so they had an extra ticket. I actually didn't want to go, cuz honestly in my head I could think of so many other things to do that were so much better. But I ended up agreeing to go cuz I figured I should spend sometime with my parents and why waste a ticket?

It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.
The whole time my spirit was in deep distress and agony. The Spirit was convicting me about everything surrounding the production and the people around me.
I don't think I enjoyed much of the show.

The plot of the story was about a bunch of guys who worshiped fame and music.
They ended up achieving great success in the world at the expensive of their families ...and their souls. They made music that people enjoyed for a few years and sorta forgot after awhile. The songs they wrote worshiped everything but the Living God. Every time a tragedy happened in the plot line I kept hoping that they would go search for the deeper meaning in their life and find JESUS except that never happened. They just ended up resolving to pursue even more fame and become even more successful. The end.

The environment in the theater had a heavy air of comfort and pleasure derived from materialistic carnal minds. The audience comprised of older upper middle class people come back to relive their youth with their families and young couples on dates. They worshiped the production, the spectacular show of lights and music to please their senses.

The whole time my soul screamed in anguish:
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS WE WERE GIVEN THESE GIFTS TO WORSHIP THE LIVING GOD
HE IS SO MUCH BETTER
DON'T WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE WORSHIPING THIS JUNK
YOUR WORTH SO MUCH MORE
JUST OPEN YOUR HEART!

I'm I being too harsh?
I wish I wasn't, but honestly everyone either worships God or something else.
I'm not saying everyone there didn't worship God.
If we could only see what sin does to our soul
If we could see what worshiping idols does to us...
We would not take it so lightly.

Frankie Valli is still alive, I should pray for him
sigh* there's just SOOO much it feels overwhelming sometimes
Just give it to God
Just give it to God
He works
He works
cast all your anxieties on Him

No Compromise

Did a bit of job hunting today and decided to apply at Costco.
I happened to bump into one of the managers and got interviewed right on the spot. They whizzed me through three different managers to interview me and I think I got the job. They told me to come back on Tuesday for orientation.

I get paid $11/hour and the cool thing is: Since I'm a future uni student I can keep this job every summer when I come back from university! From the sounds of it, its one of the best jobs someone can get these days lots of benefits etc. Its a great way to meet new people because lots of students come back for the summer. Heck I was so excited to be able to work at Costco :P

The problem is this:
They expect me to work a lot during weekends because that's when they're the busiest.
But I refuse to compromise softball ministry. I know God wants me to work there this summer. I remember making the choice a month ago whether to go on a short term mission trip or serve in softball. God really placed my heart in the youth of my generation.

SO awesome job? yeah almost like a miracle from God after looking for so long and not being able to find a job. I know I shouldn't be picky when it comes to jobs these days, but I need a job that works around the softball ministry schedule.

That means I can't work 2 weeknights a week, Saturday afternoon and on Sundays.
Its so tempting to say yes to Costco.

I believe that God WILL provide a job that fits around His schedule for my life!
So please pray for this and also for me to be able to stay faithful to Him and we will praise Him for what He does! =)

What a Crazy Day.

So today I went for a job interview except I found out it wasn't until NEXT Tuesday.
I read my bible, memorized some passages read and through commentaries on John chapter 11 and some of 12.

What did I learn?
That basically every single little thing we do and think is sinful like 99.99% of the time. Even when we're doing good things we sin because we excess in it.

How did that make me feel? Well a lot more thankful for God's grace but a lot more paranoid about everything I think and do. It sorta made me want to hide in my room forever.

Obedience, why can't we just obey God?
Why is it so frigging hard? The ONE thing that He wants us to do in our life is the hardest because its the thing we DON'T want to do the most.

So I prayed about it or tried to except I started getting paranoid about the way I was praying. Thoughts like:

was what I'm praying about in line with God's will? or was it just a ranting of my sinful nature.

Do I really care about the people I'm praying for?

I should be more repentant for my sin! So why aren't I?

Am I praying for them properly?
How exactly can I pray for them?
I mean if we don't know what we need and God only knows then uh.... WHY do we pray?
I shouldn't be thinking of other things as I'm praying! STOP

filled my head so it was a huge distraction and then I felt sleepy so I started walking around to keep my mind focused. Anyways I don't think it was a productive prayer session where I really connected with God.

I think I kinda forgot that sometimes its not how or what you pray for that's important. Its the attitude that you come before God with.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
-1 Samuel 16:7

It blows my mind that God wants us to come to Him in prayer. That He asks us to pray continually to Him with all kinds of request. To not be anxious about ANYTHING but to PRAY. Its a privilege!

When I think about it, a lot of my prayers are selfish, not fully focused, demanding, rude, disrespectful, arrogant, angry

But... The Creator of the Universe still.... hears me?
(Not that He does what I ask. He always ends up smashing me so I'm in line with His will. It makes me feel soo convicted for ever questioning Him)

Prayer is one huge mystery. It does so much that we can't see or even feel sometimes. Until we look back and go "WOAH I can't believe how much God has changed me through prayer. I can't believe He answered all these prayers that I prayed " Honestly, the more I pray the more my prayers become things that a part of me doesn't want to pray for and the more those prayers are actually answered. God says remain in me and then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Its true. (John 15)

Its hard for me to get around the huge concept of God's grace. (we definitely abuse it too much) Because Jesus died we can approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need
(Hebrew 4:16)

John 3:20-21

Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God

So true. I never really realized it before, but the reason (before I believed) that I hated people that had Christ in them was because they made me see that I was a sinner.

As Christians we're supposed to live up to verse 21

But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God

Since we're all sinners when we come into the light all our darkness is going to be exposed. Hence why sanctification hurts like ......hell. Its like being blind your whole life and suddenly being able to SEE. Your going to want to close your eyes cuz everything is SO BRIGHT, but if you keep your eyes open then eventually your eyes will adjust and you will find something so much better.

I think a lot of the times we tend to "close our eyes." We feel ashamed of what we've done in the past so we don't completely share it with others, but to really come into the light we need to be able to share and testify to all the darkness that was in our life before so that others can SEE PLAINLY how God has changed us and give praise to HIS name!

In the church today we definitely don't do that. We tend to do the exact opposite. We hide the darkness in our hearts as Christians and put masks on to save our face (its in our sinful nature). When the bible clearly tells us:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
-James 5:16

We want to be victorious over sin?
Then we got to bring it into the light and pray over it.
We need to die to ourselves daily and submit ourselves completely to Christ
No pride only JESUS. Of course this is WAY easier said than done.
Lets be serious I'm definitely like 3940349 away from there.

So we got struggling Christians in the church living in serious sin cuz they're fighting alone with no one to watch their back.

We got unbelievers coming into the church and being completely turned off because they don't think they're good enough or think everyone is fake and a hypocrite.

If we could only be humble, open and real how much more would the church GROW!
How much more would we be blessed by God's favour!

We are broken people reaching out to broken people
We tend to forget that very easily and then ministry becomes a

"I'm the superhero going to save the sinners"

Instead of:

"Hey I struggled with the exact same thing you do and this guy named Jesus saved me"

Lets pray humility and lots of it every single day of our lives!

Awesome Things God Did

just thought I would share with you guys a few awesome things God did today

After service I saw this guy standing by himself so I started to talk to him. I found out that he decided to go to church on his own and that he had never been to church before. I asked him if he believed in Jesus and he said he didn't want to say he didn't believe but he still had doubts. So I thought to myself, OK that's cool. Its awesome enough that he came to church. I invited him to join the uni fellowship after Sunday school. I didn't think he would come but he did, he even went to eat with them beforehand so I was really surprised.

So anyways the program for fellowship that day was praise and prayer so we prayed and as I was praying I really felt like angels were in the room so it was like the most peace I have ever had EVER I think. I didn't expect the guy to pray but he did and when he prayed like right away I could tell that he understood and knew God or was starting too. He was asking God to forgive him of his sins, thanking him for the troubles that he had to go through and for bringing him God. I was blown away. I talked to him after I asked like how he came to know about God and Christianity and he said "I was interested in religion so I decided to Wikipedia a few of them one day to find out which one could apply to me" and that's how he first came to know about God he was like "yeah I've been wanting to go to church for a long time now but I was too scared." He wants to reach out to his brother and his family except that they're like all Buddhist and yeah lots of other family issues.

ISN'T THAT SO COOL?!
LIKE THROUGH WIKIPEDIA

Ok another story.

So Cherie and Eunice did their interview thing for Fairchild this afternoon.I decided to drop by and support them. Most of the time I was praying over them. HAHA I swear everyone around me thought I was a little crazy, but w/e.

I was praying for Cherie and Eunice to trust in God, to not fear, for His peace to be with them, for courage to proclaim what God did for them and for God to just use them to glorify His name. There were times when I had serious doubts while praying. I was like "Is this even going to do anything?" but I kept going cuz I knew somehow that God does answer prayers!

Anyways they did their interview thing and It went really well. Cherie and Eunice nailed the Chinese :P haha. Afterward I thought "ok so did my prayers actually do anything?"

Something inside me told me it did so I was like "ok I guess somehow God did something I couldn't see or is going to do something through this"

Then Cherie texted me just awhile ago it said

"Heyy, I just had the most deep convo with my aunt today, finally! I was given the courage! Thanks for all your prayer, and being there today! You started us talking about God. Amazing how God uses us! =)"

Pretty awesome ehh? PTL
and PRAY!

Family

Something God has been driving into my head lately is this:

The FAMILY IS THE CHURCH.
It is first a church where God is worshiped and second a family.

This is a huge problem within the Chinese Christian church today.
There's to much pride and darkness hidden within the family.
They just live together. They don't really talk to each other.
I mean the believing parents barely live out their faith for their kids the way they should. Most of the time they don't. They're still too tied down to cultural traditions.

1At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian Regiment. 2He and all his family were devout and God-fearing
- Acts 10:1-2

The whole family was devout and God fearing. What does that mean? Except that the whole family were active believers that had their own personal relationship with God?

He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. 5(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)
-1 Timothy 3:4-5

What does manage own family mean but to manage the spiritual health and growth of one's own family before going to care for the needs of others.

Lets be serious
We have fallen so far of the standard God expects of us.

The reason I'm blogging about this is that I feel God telling me to break this barrier down within my own family.

We're a "Christian" family well my parents are and I am.
My siblings just go to church, but the thing is I have never heard my parents testimony I don't think they really even know mine completely. I never see them praying or reading the bible. We don't do family devos or worship together. I mean they tried but sorta gave up.

Can we honestly say we're devout and God fearing?.......
Is our household being managed well?

So prayers please.

Questions of the Day

How do you live like your going to die?
How do you live as one just passing by?
How do you live letting go of all?
How do you live as to not fall?

I've looked everywhere
there's nothing here
nothing that can fill me up
its all seems to dry me up
What I seek is somewhere on the other side
The other side of this thing called life.

The More

I seek God
The more I know God
The more I know God
The more I see how far we have fallen
The more I see how far we have fallen
The more sensitive to sin I become
The more sensitive to sin I become
The more it distresses me to see it everywhere I go and in myself
The more it distresses me to see it everywhere I go and in myself
The more I want to be free
The more I want to be free
The more I realize that I'm stuck in this sinful hell till I die
The more I realize that I'm stuck in this sinful hell till I die
The more I realize my desperate need for God
The more I realize my desperate need for God
The more I want to seek Him and follow and His commands
The more I want to seek Him and follow and His commands
The more I realize I fall so short of these expectations
The more I realize I fall so short of these expectations
The more I am thankful that He died for my sins
The more I am thankful that He died for my sins
The more I want to worship Him
The more I worship Him
The more grace He gives me
The more grace He gives me
The more he renews my mind
The more he renews my mind
The more out of place in this world I become
The more out of place in this world I become
The more the world hates me
The more the world hates me
The more trials I must endure
The more trials I must endure
The more I look to God for help
The more I look to God for help
The more He strengthens me to do His work
The more He strengthens me to do His work
The more work is done through me by Him for His Kingdom
The more work is done through me by Him for His Kingdom
The more attacks I get from the evil one
The more attacks I get from the evil one
The more I look to God for help

and on and on and on and on and on

YEAH Another Thing =)

I have been praying for the fellowship at my school (Charis) since.... well a long time now. Its amazing how they meet together every week and hold on to God even though everything goes against them. I've been praying for God to really bring them DEEPER into who He is, show them what it means to be a Christ follower and then for them to SHINE in their school campus. I've also been praying a lot for the leaders because I really felt that they were trying too hard, not trusting in God enough and trusting too much in themselves. (but I didn't say anything because I knew it was in God's hands)

So for the past month now I've been attending the fellowship weekly to support them.
Today they had a program to remember what Jesus did for us. I really wanted them to experience God, so the whole time I was praying in my heart "God come fill this place with Your presence, let them truly see You and worship" There was time of silent prayer and reflection and then we started to worship.

God showwedd uppppp yooo it was sickkkk as I was worshiping I felt God telling me to pray for the people around me to be able to worship Him so I got on my knees and prayed my heart out. The HOLY SPIRIT started praying through me so whispers came out of my mouth (I had no clue what I was actually saying) but It felt so awesome to be USED by God in such a powerful way. So as I prayed/ the Spirit prayed He started moving and more and more people started to truly WORSHIP you could FEEL the vybe! Then there was a time of confession and the thing that blew me away was that the leader confessed her sins in front of everyone.

Afterward I looked around me and EVERYONE had the "I just met God face" LOL
The person sitting beside me asked:
"Hey what did you pray for?"
and I said
"That you guys could truly worship. Did you feel like you truly worshiped God today?"
and with like the HUGEST smile he said "Yeah"

So then I thought O maybe I should talk with the Chair and see how she's doing. So I asked "So what did God teach you today?"
and she said "That I should serve God not people"
and I asked
"So who do you think you were serving the whole past year?"
"People"
"What did you do differently today?"
"I focused on myself and God and stopped worrying about other people"

and then I shared about what God has taught me about being a leader and prayed over her =)
and then I was like PTL God is working!

YEAHHH

Just Believe

So today was a pretty sick day. It was happy day for me (I don't get many of those cuz I'm always getting attacked) but today God gave me a break and allowed me to be blessed. I was talking to a friend about what God has been doing in my life recently and as I was talking, this completely random guy comes up to us and says:

"Hey can I listen?"
"Um sure"

He hung onto every single word I had to say about God. (The Spirit was working on his heart like crazy)
So when I was done sharing I asked him

"are you a follower of Jesus Christ?"

"I think so I don't know this guy was talking to me about it other day but he went to Columbia"

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yes I mean people after generation all do the same things it doesn't make sense there has to be" (paraphrased but he said some pretty wise things)

"Do you believe that Jesus Christ died for your sins?"

"Yes but I don't know if he was God or just a man because I was talking to a Muslim who said he was just a prophet. I guess it doesn't matter either way He died for our sins"

(going through verses in my bible trying to show him)
"No you need to believe that Jesus Christ was both God and man and was perfect no one else can pay the price"

"But theres so many religions I'm scared of going to heaven and telling God I believe but God saying but you didn't believe the right thing and then I heard a story about a man who was waiting for God @ the 11th hour and died at 10:30"

"Do you believe your a sinner?"

"Yes I'm a sinner I need to be saved" (this guy was so convicted it blew me away)

"What do all other religions believe they need to do to be saved?"

"Well I was reading about the law of Moses"

"Yes God gave us the law of Moses so we would understand that we could not fulfill it, that is why we needed Jesus to die for us because he was the only one who could fulfill the whole law" (at this point I wish I had memorized the book of Romans better XD sigh* but still this guy knew about the law of of Moses and wasn't even a Christian or Jew)

"Yes I read that if you even look at woman lustfully you sin"

"Then believe and be saved"

"I don't know I want to look at things from a wider angle first I'm still not sure. I don't want to be wrong"

"You can't you need to have faith in order to have the truth revealed to you. You need to go in and see for yourself. I sense a lot of doubt in your heart still"

"Yes I don't know"

"Just have faith and believe He'll change your life"

"I want to where is the faith store?"

"God loves you he brought you here right now so you could accept Him. He's been putting all these random people in your life so you can believe. Can you feel His Spirit tugging at your heart right now?"

"I think so"

At this point I felt that he wasn't there yet but HE WAS SO CLOSE so I prayed over him, gave him my contact information and told him to EMAIL me when he believed.

Isn't that crazy? its like God put this random guy in my life at that exact time to give him the exact words that I gave.
It blew me away how this guy could be brought so far and deep into the truth and not be blinded by the world. He told me that he was Catholic before but honestly this guy was so innocent and so sincere just wow. I used to think that it was almost impossible to bring someone to God who was so lost but I dunno I guess God showed me that He works without the help of anyone.

I think another thing that I learned was that this guy was so close, he knew all the right things. Its like God brought him right to the doorstep of salvation and yet he didn't have the faith. It reminds of the story in Mark 5:21-43 where Jesus says "Don't be afraid; just believe."

and then the guys response to me brought the story in Mark 9:14-30 to mind where the man says "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

anyways pray for this guy his name is Hosea
I really want to get an email saying "I BELIEVE!"