God is Working

Friday was cell group night
Going in I was really distracted about softball and coffeehouse and worship night and school and 4:24.

WE MADE TACOS that were superly awesomely delicious.
It was a bit weird having a discussion on prayer and being joyful.
There were a lot of new people who came that weren't Christian.
It caught me off guard
As I started talking to them it really surprised me how open they were and how much they really wanted to know about God.
They wanted to come to church and the weird thing is they thought "they weren't allowed" because they weren't "Christian"

Some of the questions they asked seemed so obvious:
How do you know God loves you?
Where does it say that we're allowed to come to church?
How do you know God is listening to your prayers?
How come people I know who pray say that God isn't answering?
How do you turn Christian?
How is Jesus and God the same?
Which one is more powerful?

One guy saw the HUGE LCD SIGN outside the church and decided to come play basketball. (WOW the sign was actually USEFUL and not a complete waste of money)
and then someone asked him to come to fellowship and he came by himself!
WOAH

Its funny the people who participated most in the discussions were the new people who didn't know anything about God. They made the conversation real and you could tell they meant what they said even if the answers were "typical."

I could really see that they were seeking God EARNESTLY and THIRSTILY.
God brought them to a place where they could have their hearts open to him. No prejudices or skepticism, not distracted by other things.
Just the curious innocence of a child.

sometimes they'll get the wrong idea.
One person is really into doing good he sorta thinks that we do good for the sake of it hes still confused about how God fits into it.

The night really made me realize how much we ASSUME people know what Christianity is about and how little they really know and how a lot of what they think it is, isn't true.

If we could get over the misconceptions in our head that if we start talking about God people are gonna hate us, we can really be the light God has called us to be.

Its actually hard to find the truth with all the "Christians" out there. No one can tell which ones are really CONNECTED TO GO and KNOW him and which ones are just.... not
Cuz really if you look at it from and outside point of view its all the same.
Thats why we get owned as criticized as "Christians"

Cell group night was really refreshing for me.
I'm used to people having complicated epistemologys on why they don't believe in God
or people challenging my views and teasing me.
I feel that I always need to have an argument to defend my faith.

It felt so weird not always having to be so defensive.
But it also made me realize I shouldn't be defensive. Even if I have a good argument, people will always believe what they choose to believe. There is ALWAYS another theory or idea.

The only way to show the skeptics of our postmodern culture that the immaterial is more real than the real. That people are more than complex machines of causality . That there is an absolute truth and right way to live. That the God of the universe created us with a purpose...
IS to live out the truth.

SO
Let your faith stand strong sometimes you don't have to provide an explanation. Sometimes your actions explain everything.
Its hard I know, its something I'm working on too and getting a little better as each day passes by.

Perform

Interview today for Mexx.
Basically the manager talked about the business philosophy of the company.

-take control of the customer make sure they leave the store with a bag in their hand
-not everyone is suited for this job
-outstanding interpersonal skills is needed to succeed
-high performers are a must
-you get bonus' and commissions to motivate you to do well
-you have to meet your daily sales quota

I wanted to barf =)
The business world is whack.

"Make money by manipulating people into thinking we care"

How should a Christian approach business?

I believe that first we connect with the people in a real and honest way this can only be done through God's love. Treat them as people not just another "customer."
Care about what they are looking for and help them to find the best deals in the store.

Can I do this?
I hope so
and I know God will bless me by honouring His commands

Answer

So my story begins on Tuesday night when my cell group leader asked me to go to Missionfest. I wasn't sure if i wanted to go so I said I would get back to him.

On Wednesday morning during my devo time with God I suddenly felt the stress of not knowing what next year was going to bring. I went through all the possible scenarios:
stay back a semester, go to York, work for a year, wait for other universites (QUEENS CON-ED is my first choice) and maybe an intership somewhere (though not likely)

For the past few months I felt like God wanted me to stay in town next year so i assumed that i would end up going to York and not Queen's even though its my first choice. I also wanted to continue to use the creativity that God has given me to do His work but i didn't know how.

Anyways after my moment of stress I decided to pray and leave in in God's hands. After praying though, I suddenly felt like God wanted me to go to Queen's. I was a bit confused ......am I hearing God's voice properly or I'm I going crazy?
I came to the conclusion that what God wants to happen will happpen.

Then on Wednesday night my Cell group leader asked agian and I decided to go to Missionfest (some part of me thought i would find the answer there)

Which brings us to today......

I really didn't feel like going, but I had nothing better to do.
So off to Missionfest we went

The night began with a speaker right away which sorta caught me off guard but it was good. It reminded me of the passion and love that God has put in my heart for my peers. I also saw the amazing things God can do with someone who is willing.
The speaker Shayne or was soo.... weird but cool haha. So in tune with
God's heart it was hard to tell which was which.

I think Shayne was God's way of getting me to focus back on Him because for the past while I haven't been focused COMPLETELY on God. I mean I was but its like I was multitasking between God and other stuff....

So being refocused I decided to visit the mission booths.

I wasn't looking for anything in particular but I was open to whatever came my way.

First booth that caught my attention: NCIS (Network of International Christian Schools) basically its an opportunity to teach in other countries.
As soon I picked up the flyer I knew this was something that I wanted to do in a few years. Which means I need to get my teacher's degree.

Second booth: Artists in Christian testimony
Its soo cool its an organization that helps to support Christian Artists in using their creative abilities to serve God. Basically they help by training artists to get to the next level of their art discipline and provides a name for the artist to go under so that they can get donations for their ministry.

Third booth: Youth With a Mission
I randomly bumped into the person of this booth and decided to hear what it was about. It was an internship oppurnity for 5 months to go to another country to serve. The idea sounded like a great opportunity but I knew it wasn't for me.

Fourth booth: Centre for Student Missions (CSM)
At first I thought this was a booth for street missions so like City Street Missions
but it was actually a organization that help's groups of students go on missions trip. I dunno why but i ended up taking a card.

Fifth booth: Urban Promise
The first thing that caught my eye was the intership flyer so I asked about it.
I dunno what happened but as the guy was explaining the program, suddenly i just knew that this is what I am supposed to do. For 9 months I live in community that is in need around in GTA and help them out as well as invest time in mentoring 3-4 youth. I worked for 6 days and get one day off, but weekends are pretty chills basically i just chill with my youth on Saturday for a few hours and then bring to church on Sunday.
It was EXACTLY what I was looking for.

Everything came together:
- go to UP for a year
- apply to teacher's college (hopefully Queen's)
- teach in a country far away
-?

After Missionfest my pastor and I started talking about bringing a group of youth next year on a missions trip. I remember the card from CSM and yea it just worked out.

There are still a few things that are unclear:
I feel that there is another reason why I'm supposed to stay in town. What it is?
What can I do to use my creativity for God and improve myself as an artist for the kingdom? (I really wanna help the TC Media Kids next year but we'll see)
How the heck I am i gonna get into Queen's next year?

and of course I need to raise $6000.00 >.<

its all in God's hands though so no worries~

Plugged

I love the silence
after the ipod i couldnt concentrate


We're addicted to noise
always plugged into something.

lunch today was good ..silence

Silence brings out the truth.
awkwardness is the fear of truth.
Why should we feel awkward with silence?
why must there always be noise?
Is it because when there is silence,
that is when we can hear the best?

Plunge

God has blessed me a lot these past few days.
Almost as if to say "I am blessing you so that you can bless others"
For me one of the things that keeps me from serving God to the fullest is the idea that I will be missing out on the "good" times in life because of God.
But God has been reassuring me telling me "Hey watcha talking about, the best times in life are right HERE with ME!"


Yesterday gave me a glimpse into heaven.
Especially the service at ETCBC I could really see the love everyone has for each other there... it was beautiful.
I realized that in Christ every Christian is connected whether they know each other or not.

God is preparing me for the next phase in my life.
What it is? I have no clue, but its coming SOON.
It's gonna be .... an ADVENTURE filled with:

drama, heartbreak, persecution, trials, temptation, struggles, battles, suffering, pain, JOY and LOVE

I know God will bring me through it all.
I'm excited, I'm scared

I just have to be ready to take the the plunge ...into the unknown.
to give up my ideas of what will happen next year and to give it to God.

time is ticking... slowing clicking.....
gotta make a choice.

Story.

Love

everyone has a story to tell

behind the images
behind the pseuds
the facades
the masks
the shadows
the illusions.
the lies.

that we all put up.

A story that is unique, special
A story that is God breathed.
We have the chance to be part of the story of every person we meet
How are we going to change it?

Its hard to look at a person and not judge
But if we can see people simply as Loved by God
Then we can truly be used to change their story and make it a part of His story.
___________________________________________________________________________________

Today as i was getting a haircut, The hair stylist's assistant scared me.
She had blond highlighted hair, heavy make up and something about her gave me a vibe that she was too cool for me LOL

But then I realized that underneath what:

I thought of her, what she thought of herself
what she looked like, what other people thought she looked like

was what God saw
was who she really is.
was the person I was commanded to Love.

Salt

Season your conversations with salt.
do not babbe like the fool
instead provoke matters that matter.

2 Timothy 2:16
16Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. 17Their teaching will spread like gangrene.

its hard to not talk about someone behind their back or even not talk about things that are "godless"
but its soo true.

Too Blessed

100$ - income tax return
44$- vacation pay for Buck or Two
treated to dinner! twice in two weeks!
did amazing on tests!
too much.

thank God

Protected

Green light
accelerate.
too fast
black ice
lost control
slam brakes
skid across
hit rail.

safe.
small crack
no license plate
but safe.

hope i can still drive after this

thank God

OWNED

I can feel the life being sucked out of me.
My connection slowly disconnecting.
I'm trying to fight but I can't
Instead of lulls of defeat
and stretches of victory
It has become more frequent
Days even half days of troughs and hills.
The battles are getting more intense
I can feel anticipate when I'm being attacked.
the question is how do i fight back?

lust, pride, sloth, fear, selfishness

Need to pray more but it seems like the opposite in happening.
Losing focus.
Staying focused
Losing focus
Staying focused

"Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see "
- Brandon Heath.