Simply

To make clear what I have been blogging about:

We as Christians say we are saved that our life is better and full of joy.
Yet nothing distinguishes us.What makes it better?
If anything we are just made into hypocrites.
I am not saying all Christians are like this. I am not saying im not a hypocrite. In fact i am pointing out the fact that this is a flaw within myself.

We say that we follow Christ, therefore if we are in Christ we should produce FRUIT.
"He is the vine and we are the branches"

The fruits of the Spirit are: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, good, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control

So if we are truly followers of Christ we should be producing these fruits and we should see the fruits in our own lives. The criteria are hard to follow because in essence they are impossible without God.

Its human nature to get angry, frustated etc. when people do things to hurt you.
Its natural to think of ourselves first.
These things are all natural (in our sinful nature of course)

But as Christians what sets us apart is the fact that we go agianst these things
and our lives show essentially the qualities God originally meant for us.

Natural in the sinful way = unnatural in Gods way, which is the intended way

So if your still with me.:
What I see from Christians in my life.... well i dont see much of Christ. I really see people being people, another person of society
NOT people being...well not people of this world.

I understand A little more of what it means to be an Ambassador of Christ, To not belong.

Sometimes when I'm talking to friends at school and there so wrapped up in university stuff well I feel I just don't belong. Its not that university isnt important to me, its that fact that I dont base my life around gettting accepted. People in my grade are so CONSUMED with gettin good grades...its sad
I feel weird because I base my life around what God calls me to do.
I guess its the same for people in different phases of life also. but instead of school its: Work, family, charity etc

Back to my original point: Christians = Not acting like Christ
Whats up with that? I mean Christian means "Follower of Christ"
So if your not following Christ then your not Christian. (duh)
Jesus put God above all his priorities.
But many times we put other things first
In our soceity it has become acceptable to put school ahead of God
"why didnt you come to fellowship" "Homework" -end of convo everything is justified.
That is NOT right.

"Seek Yee first the Kingdom of God"

People think that you only have time for school or God.
Wrong. I can prove it.
Following God INCLUDES school because you do EVERYTHING to GLORIFY GOD which means doing the best in ALL aspects of your life (still working on that)

But that doesnt you dont talk to God because your to busy doing doig hmwk or skip worship cuz of a project. Its not impossible to balance those two things.

I used "School" as an example
But im also talking about not seeing Christ in other aspects of out lives:
In the way we handle our relationships with friends, family etc (its getting better for me) also in our work in EVERYTHING.

Many times we separate God when really we need to INTEGRATE GOD.

Relationships: Dont get easiy angered at your friends when they do something inconsiderate

Forgive.

Just the other day one of my friends got SOOO MAD at my other friend and yes maybe there was a decent reason
but that doent matter because God calls us to Forgive! TO LOVE

My angry friend spent the whole day brooding over this one incident
he didnt talk to us, he just sat with an agery look on his face
He secluded himself when we were hanging out having fun
He let it ruin his day

If ONLY he forgave he couldve had a much better day.

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Yes it seems hopeless like we cant ever be FREE of our sinful nature
but there is God

Here's the thing don't compare your life to the standard of GOD cuz it will seem hopeless.

Rather pray and ask God to change you and he will. Through many experiences
You will be changed. Of course you have to be willing to take that plunge to give God control and LET GO.

When you do you will see incredible changes in your life.
You won't become perfect overnight but you will as God changes you.

The secret is not to aim for perfection because that is impossible
It is not to force yourself NOT to be angry to do it of your own will.

IT is not to be complacent and to live like the world

It is to have that willing heart. To place God first and let him work in your life

If Christians were supposed to be exactly like Christ then we would be screwed
But we aren't, we are following Him the perfect person, learning how to be... PEOPLE God intended us to be

The more we follow Him the more fruit we produce.
and the closer we are to being like Christ.

The questions I ask myself often is:
I'm I producng fruit?
What fruits have I leveled up recently?
If im not gaining exp is it because im not focused on God enough?

Cry

How we suffer.
From the fruits of our own transgressions.

We seem trapped with no hope of sanctification
cursed to be doomed forever.

Wallowing in pride, anger, hate, lust o countless sins ensnare us
Like gluttonous animals we devour to satisfy out desires.

Few and far between find the way to life.
so few so very few it seems hopeless.

So few persevere
so very few....

Humanity is doomed.
Forgive my ill thoughts.

this is what i see
little hope

We say we are SAVED but are we truly?
Have we taken to heart the commands to redemption?

TO LOVE like the Father loves?
To forgive?
To to let go?
To truly be FREE

Many do not grasp that meaning.
the true implications of FREEDOM
Go beyond mere choice and liberty.

IS this what we have come to?
Where is Salvation?

I cannot see the light because I am no better.

Yet all is not yet lost
There is hope admidst the chaos

There is God.
Faith will bring us through.

Walk the Line

Verse 1:
Stand on the edge of life and death
On the border of illusion and reality
It impossible to tell whats real
Dont got much time to make the choice

PC:
And im screaming dying to know the truth
Can someone tell me, before I lose my mind

Verse 2:
Tread softly, tread lightly
Careful or you might fall off
time is ticking cicking clicking clicking
So whats it gona be? your decision.

PC

Chorus:
I can't see, i can't breath
Darkness covers me
illusions delusions
Can't come to conclusion

What a fool, a tool
a hypocrite at best
broken I stand on the line.

Bridge.
I need you
Set me free

Done

Today it is done.
There is nothing more i can do.
There was really nothing that i could've done

i've come to the realization
that no matter what I do
it is in vain unless God is in it.

So really all i can do is follow His commands.
and let Him use me when He wills.

I can pray and I will pray and I will continue to pray.

From now on:
I choose peace and assurance over
frustration, anger, uncertainty and stress.

I choose faith and love
over doubt and hate

I choose God
over myself.

For:
Who I am?
but a fleeting existence that is quickly forgotten?
Who am I?
but a fool who can't make up his mind.

My hope is that light will triumph in the darkness
that grace and mercy will heal the broken and the lost.

My heart is in agony because of the desolation of my generation.

Father:
bring us back to life.
to love
to joy
Fill us up
May our thirsty Hearts be satisfied
by the water of life.

Use me to show your light.
This is my calling.

and:
Keep me safe. Keey me strong
For I am easily blown away
in an instant.
in a flash
Forgive me now and later and then.

You mercy abounds forever.
thank you,

Amen

X-MAS

Man:
Its the most wonderful time of the year. I gave away like 20 gifts. That were all were expensive presents that people would like. Not a second thought present like a bookmark or a keychain. Its just non-stop going to parties meeting up with some old friends. I don’t want this to end. I wonder what my friends got me for Christmas? Not that it matters because I got them a way better gift. People are going to love me. I mean I just went to like 20 christmas services and I even helped out at the soup kitchen. Aren’t I such a good person? Man my life is perfect.

Matthew

Full stage lights, slide of a city background, street noises in the background. Homeless person in a sleeping bag centre stage begging. There is a wreath hanging by one of the chairs.
Sounds Fades and lights fade except for centre light.

Homeless man:
Christmas time, The streets are filled with twice the amount of people buying gifts, and of course I get a little extra change because of the “holiday cheer.” Around this time you get the rich ass snobs going out on the street handing trying to look good. Every year this lady drives down Queen street in a red porche filled with stacks of 20$ bills. Gets out carrying a bag of bills and makes a huge scene making sure everyone sees her. She starts handing out bills. I never take her money. One time after I said no she left it in front of my bag. I didn’t touch it. The wind blew it all the way down there. She ran after it ….. didn’t come back. They come and then leave feeling good self righteous “How important, caring good people they are doing such a great thing for the needy” Then they go back to their lives forgetting us until the next year.
Its not that I don’t want the money. I don’t want charity. Those people who just want to look good or feel like they did something worthwhile, or feel guilty cuz they haven’t done anything “good.” They aren’t sincere.
Does it really matter? I can understand if people want to do something good. But why during Christmas? Why not any other time?
After being on the streets for so long It really seems pointless to me. People go to parties exchange gifts, get wasted. The day after Christmas the same people are on the street returning the gifts they got the other day and then go on to buy something else and …of course no one gifts a crap about me anymore.
Because Christmas is over.
Why? Whats the point of Christmas? An excuse to party, to get together with family? A time for people to do good things and feel good about it? For people to “pretend” to care by giving presents. Did they create Santa Clause for another reason to be “good during the season?
I can understand why We Celebrate New years or Thanksgiving.
But for Christs sake why Christmas?

Hold On

The weather outside has been messing up my emotional levels.
I've been so busy going non-stop through the past 6 days.

Its hard to hear God
Sometimes i feel as if i drifted.

and i have?
but not really?

hmmm
i think its the next level LOL
(seriously)

Unnatural

true peace is not attained by quenching the desires of the soul

"follow your heart"
one of the main messages in our society.

but the funny thing is:
half the time we don't even know what we want
or rather we find out that what we wanted wasn`t what we actually wanted.
it falls short of our expectations
and so our heart pursues something else.

"the heart is deceitful above all.."
-bible somewhere

true peace` is found in resisting temptation and pursuing
holiness

still we are all deceived`

Vain

O if all were not vain
so very vain
our desires that bring us pain
still we roll around shamed
having no care for our name
degraded like noble creatures chained
by such simple and feinting .....

vices

o if only if only
we worked to rid ourselves
to better ourselves
instead of satisfying ourselves
To imitate Christ with all ourselves
only then would our world change
but one is always there and.....

entices

o if we stood strong
and fought to right wrongs
resisted temptation that enthrongs
our hearts soo restless and longed
for a peace that will never come to song
unless we live on God alone
and draw apart from this world

thrice
for the price of LIFE

for what is there? but Christ?
o how foolish our hearts are
how deceitful
and horrible
the truth of man's soul.

God save us all
it is for vanity that we shall fall
and vanity that we live by

Wisdom

Careful what you ask for.

I asked God to grsnt me wisdom
i read in the bible that Solomon was the best kings ever because he asked for wisdom from God
He was the richest, most powerful and balling guy in the world at that time.

So I prayed to God and asked for wisdom.
and he answered
and blessed me with wisdom beyond my years.

It is a gift and a curse.
Sometimes i wish that i could go back
because "ignorance is bliss"
but
would i be satisfied living a lie?
then agian i would not know that my life was an illusion

Still with my peers its like i cant relate to them anymore
like im a different wavelength a different perspective?

not that im better than them
but its like they wouldnt get it?

its like trying to explian to someone whos lived in a box their whole life that theres the WHOLE world out there

not just the box.
and all they have to do is open it

Its not over

One victory
lets celebrate
but not for too long

because there is still more work to be done
to further the kingdom

Do not let your hearts become complacent
We have one victory
but the enemy is still not defeated
so we must be alert and ready for his next attack

PRAY

Press on
its not over yet.

Stand

"All fall down" NOT!

We will not fall
United we stand
Though you use our differences to tear us apart

Though you try to use our sin, our pride to strike us down
We stand. because we are united in Christ!

Though we have differences it does not matter God created us unique for a specific purpose

Though temptation is near. The power of Christ will conquer all fear.

We will win this battle for the Glory of our God,

You can't bring us down
Right now i lay my sins
my pride
my self-righteousness

forgive me Father
forgive me those i have wronged
let us fight dear brothers and sisters and pray ernestly continually. the battle is but days away .
Do NOT LOSE HEART
and be aware of the devil's tactics
stay strong
and be united as the body
to further His Kingdom

deliver us from the Evil one
Pour you power upon us
Set our hearts ablaze
In the name of Christ
Amen

Focus

It starts slowly.
One thing then more and more and more; until your so far away
you can't find your way way back.

and then....begins the process of getting back, going back.
Sometimes when your so far away you don't want to go home.

When your so far, no ones there to support you and your left ..all alone.
Still you refuse to go back. Why?

Even when your home, there is always the lie: "outside is....better go outside go go go" constantly pounding in your heart. STOP NO its a LIE
We are all deceived.

Its easy to lose focus.
The longer your out the harder it is to get back.
Its SO easy to lose sight of truth.
"The truth will set you free"

So chained, you don't even know, you don't even FEEL chained,trapped
God help us all.

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Fantasy Reality
Isn't it idoltary? still.
Wouldn't it be nice to live a lie.

Still a part of me
Knows it should not be
Yet the other part is dying for the lie.

Why can't dreams come true?