look so depressed?
I get that a lot
The answer: because I am
Everywhere I go I can sense the spiritual atmosphere
and its all so heavy
I can literally feel the sins and burdens that people are holding in their hearts
I feel so burdened for fellow believers who are still in so much bondage,
for churchgoers who are still blind and I can't do anything.
I feel emptier and emptier as I grow more and more
I can see through life
See through the illusions of "fullness"
See the people who are being caught up in
and the people who are starting to feel it
I see through every pretty girl that walks by me
I see through her make up
Everything I see now is something I can't see
The Lord has given me understanding and wisdom (James 1, 1 John 3)
how can I use these things to edify the body?
I scream to God for His light to be made known!
I ecstatically yell in an unknown tongue strange, sounds coming out of my mouth
its the only way that I can express what I feel although I don't know exactly what I'm saying word for word. I know that it is a DESPERATE plea to the Lord to come and save us. (1 Corinthians 14)
Grace can only come when we are willing to receive it in humility
Everything else turns to legalism and becomes a religion
We are such prideful people that even after we receive grace we go back to try to earn it (Galatians)
I am blogging more these past few days
I won't lie I only blog as an excuse to put off praying or reading the bible
Thats all I'm doing these days
except I have slacked in reading cuz I started to listen more (which is so much more effective) but less useful in terms of memorizing. Its useful for spiritual strength like an energy bar whenever I get too depressed during the day. Which is all the time so I listen to it during the in between times.
We NEED God
We all need to understand that our life is in HIM and in HIM alone.
He holds all our atoms together
He alone satisfies us
We were made to worship and serve Him
because he is the Eternal Life (1 John) which appeared to us and has made Himself known.
So right now to some I am deluded and crazy
Whatever, Jesus was called demon possessed and crazy during His ministry (John 8)
So I am too.
but I know there are some who understand
there are some who I instantly know and feel unity with no words needed.
I sense their spiritual presence.
One thing I NEED to stop doing is gauging fellow believers on a scale
Its true I do that and I treat them differently based on their spiritual maturity
but the thing is, its not that I look down on them or think less of them, NO we are all equal before the throne of grace! Its just that they don't get it so its hard to relate to them, even when I pray with them I feel alone.
Father in heaven
That I could see and love people the way that you do.
May your love overflow in my heart! (1 John 4)
My friend's friend committed suicide yesterday.
Not a Christian
Time is clicking away
People dying everyday
Need to tell them the way
too bad I'm still too much of a noob.
