last night.
Where I was able to reconnect with everyone who I cared about the most throughout my short life.
but it turned out to be more of a nightmare.
I woke up sweating, breathing heavily.
People which I thought I had moved on with suddenly coming back cutting me, taunting me. I wanted to cry......but I couldn't.
Some people say time heals.
I guess in someways it does but really I think we just forget.
Too bad I don't have that gift. I remember everything very clearly.
It never fully heals. It comes back in short jabs like these.
To lose someone to death
is easier than to lose them to life.
at least in death you know that the relationship you had with them will still be there in the end.
but in life you become a stranger, an observer, a stalker almost
You still love but you can't express it the way you would like to.
You feel a bittersweet mixure of joy because you know that sommeone you love is happy
and also sadness because you know that you cannot be there to really share it with them.
The human heart is fragile it was never created to experience loss of love but to always be continually filled with it.
the temptation is to hate
but
God calls us to love
and to love in an imperfect world is to hurt.
