So on too the rest of my frosh experience.....
Basically I died inside because of the intense amounts of profanity and slander against other colleges and sexual connotations... well more like blatant sexually degrading comments. However throughout the whole thing the Lord gave me great insight and I saw through the people: Drawn to evil and encouraged to do evil by each other, enjoying for a short time the power of using words to cut and belittle but still having their consciences convict them and in the end leaving them empty only to cover it up by talking about it afterwards giving approval to each other. I found it so sad that people we're so quick to hate on others of different colleges because they were told too. Its like they could not survive without some sort of chaos happening. It was what they enjoyed, what they thrived on.
I was wondering why I even decided to go and started to think to myself that I was wasting my time when I could be at home spending time in prayer with the Lord. I didn't want to make friends because my own heart was not open to them. I am a very shy person and don't care much for small talk but I forced myself for a bit and then gave up because it I was not getting anywhere and to be honest found it to be vain.
So I started I sat down to read my bible and a girl who was beside me asked me what I was reading so I told her.
"I'm reading the bible" (secretly hoping she would ask me more questions) she responded "O" in a thats cool way.
The girl, who's name was Mona was really sociable, bold and so naturally attracted people to come. Soon there were people around us and we were talking. I was able to slowly open myself up. I learned that the reason why I wasn't making friends was because I was afraid to show people who I was knowing that I was naturally salt and light because of the grace of God and also knowing that darkness hated light and so I let my imagination take my fear out of proportion.
As we we're talking I was revealed that one of the reasons people are drawn to evil is because they have never known the light. The other reason is because they're evil. So while one part is attracted to people with light and other part hates those with light because they themselves do not have it (as with Cain and Abel and as with Issac and Ishmael). These two things are in constant battle with one another most of it hidden within the heart. However, it comes out in small pieces because the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. When people witness they are welcomed because of the natural attraction to the light or persecuted because of the natural hate to it. For the Christian, we become more and more and sanctified as we come to a better understanding of the light and experience Him through faith in His Words. Since the latter reason for evil has been taken care of through the change of heart that the Spirit brings about from stone to flesh, the first part (lack of understanding) is the only reason that is left which through His grace we can grow into.
As I slowly let myself be myself I found that I was able to make friends really quickly and noticed that my new found friends were attracted to me. They just wanted to be accepted and as I let more of Jesus live out through me I was feeding they're human needs naturally while enjoying they're company. I was given spiritual insight to their lives and immediately felt a great love for them even though I only just met them. I so desperately wanted to TELL them but knew that it was impossible with God so I needed much prayer before making any decisions. I befriended a girl from Bangladesh, a girl from Guiana and a guy from Portugal. Two of them were Muslims and one Catholic (though not really understanding it).
Hopefully I will have the chance to get to to know them better during frosh this week and to share the gospel with them.
On the bus ride home, I was able to evangelize to a commuter froshie on the bus.
Another thing that I learned was that in our society today people are so HUNGRY and open for truth. They are not so much opposed to it as they are apathetic towards it. This is partly due their lack of knowledge of what the gospel is. They don't reject the gospel as much, they just categorize everything as one and the same. If there were people who would actually live the gospel out people would listen. In a world with no absolutes, absolutes standout.
I also was very confused at times as to how I should act.
especially during the cheering and the party at night
What does being holy unto the Lord really mean?
There is this balance I need discernment on because it doesn't make sense to just leave. Jesus hung out with sinners and they we're probably doing some sketch things while He was there.
