Yesterday I felt really convicted to evangelize in public. So I decided to go to the high school near my house. I was actually scared as hell. A million scenarios popped into my head. One of them went something like this:
I'm preaching the gospel. Suddenly a gang of guys come up to me and say "Stop preaching Jesus" In an malicious angry tone. I don't stop, instead I continue to preach the gospel because I want them to know God. They surround me and beat me to a pulp. They decide to kidnap me and see if they can make me renounce my faith. I'm tied up to a chair they tell me "Do you believe in Jesus?" I answer In a a quiet voice "yes" They slowly cut one of my fingers off. I start begging for mercy maybe these men will show some kindness......
Lets stop there shall we?
Fear traps me, paralyzes me.
I fear the price I might have to pay one day for my faith
I also fear falling short of the expectations of being a follower of Christ.
At home I decided to rehearse what I would say to people, as if I were open air preaching on the streets. I rehearsed a quick 1-2 minute mini sermon that encapsulates the core of the Gospel. I never ended up evangelizing openly in public though. Instead I prayed over the school and decided to sit down by the back of the school and tell everyone who passed by me "Hey Did you know that God loves you?"
I got a smirks, laughs, people ignoring me, dirty looks, talking to me like I was crazy, angry atheists telling me there is no God, others yelling at me telling me that there business with God is between them and God and that I should stay out of it.
What I saw were broken people with hardened hearts.
It hurt me when I was insulted but what hurt me more was that these people rejected this truth so easily and didn't even think twice about HOW AWESOME THAT IS! It drove me crazy that they're lives could be changed in an INSTANT that there was something so much better if they just believed! Its something so SIMPLE yet SO HARD.
There were a few who were accepting, some who actually took everything to heart and some who had a different view of God yet listened to mine. You scatter seed and can literally tell what kind of soil it lands on and all you can do is pray to God that He makes it grow. That He takes out the weeds and protects it.
Suddenly everyone walking around me was in need of God. Every person who passed by me was trapped and crying out but didn't want to be saved or maybe they did but there was no one to TELL them.
I went to church and had to try soo frigging hard not to cry.
At the end of the day its only God who can change hearts
and its makes me wonder why did he choose to save me?
I'm no different than any of those people out there......
