self-control destroyed me yesterday.
the computer is a dangerous thing for your spiritual life.
it can become like a super idol where you can worship anything and everything all at the same time! The T.V. is just pure well junk 99.99% of the time
I started off with just checking my emails (which I do way too often)
and then I just clicked on Wongfu and started to watch..and watch and watch
and the stuff wasn't anything violent or sensual but it still convicted me like crazy as I was watching it because it definitely didn't glorify God
anyway I ended up watching till like 2:00 am
and the whole time there was like a heavy spiritual force in my heart
so that afterward I felt so condemned and guilty that I couldn't pray that night and the feeling stayed until I finally shook it off and cried to the Lord with all my heart!
I have these spurts where I am crazily self discipline+control (as it says in the letters to be)and just pray and then I get discouraged and give up and lose it all.
and then I have to do it again because my spirit feels so dead.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
2 Peter 1:5-9
So I need to PERSEVERE at being self controlled as it says in the verse and that will lead me to be more godly because I am living a life of servitude.
Also I must always remember that the Lord is FAITHFUL and will not condemn me based on what I do because I did NOTHING in the first place!
this is NOT EASY.
especially with today's culture where the main problem is no self control!
