its funny..... I have experienced God's love in such a tangable way in the past, but I have never really been able to fully accept it in my ....spirit.
i've actually been living by works for so long but I was always sustained by His grace.
Its really hard to accept God's love after I have leaned so much about His Holiness, wrath, glory
I guess the reason why I don't want to accept His infinite LOVE is because I don't want to except His infinite WRATH for all of eternity.
If I allowed myself to fully accept His love then I would have to live in the reality of His wrath as well for each person in my life....
and the thought of it is too PAINFUL too BEAR
its hard to love.
its painful to love
when we are called to love GOd and to love others
its a call to die to ourselves....thats what love is.
I don't want my souls to have to agonize over the many that are perishing
I dont want to bother with bearing with believers who are still maturing....
I think I'm finally getting this revelation in my spirit along with .....a deeper revelation of His Son....manifest through Us ....its CRAZY
but its not even about that.
He's so much stronger!
I barely contain the love that He's filling me with!
Even when I try to contain IT LEAKS OUT JESUS LEAKS OUT OF ME EVEN WHEN I TRY TO SHUT HIM UP INSIDE
CHRIST IS THE ONE WHO IS LIVNG IN ME
HE'S CONTROLLING ME MORE AND MORE
LIKE A FREAKING LOVE VIRUS
HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
