DTS

today was one of those days where God decided to test me.
it was hard...very hard.
oemmgeee
I think I passed though. >.<

Its hard to love when your heart is out of whack or when the hearts of the people your called to love is out of whack. Its even harder when its both. I'm sensing a lot of bitterness. Maybe its just me, sometimes I get overly paranoid. Whatever it is wether it was myself or others or both or the devil or all. I had to fight through it and force myself to not run away but to talk, love and encourage as best as I could.

It definitely God who gave me the strength to do it whatever it was I did.
2 Corithians 1

The God of all comfort and compassion.
I definitely need that to overflow in my life everyday.

DTS

Die to self.

it doesn't matter if no ones talking to you DTS
go talk to them.

it doesn't matter if people don't want to talk to you DTS
forgive them and find people that want to talk.

it doesn't matter if the people your talking to don't like you or have something agianst you DTS
love and be real

when they ignore you? DTS
your not doing it for your own glory but for JESUS

when they insult you? DTS
they insulting Jesus not you, know who you are don't let others define you


1 Corithians 16:somewhere
"Do everything in love"

"Overcome evil with good" -somewhere in bible
there's no other way

cuz your fighting agianst the principalites and darkness of the hearts of people.
so you gotta make sure your own heart in is in the light to shine it into the darkness and expose it.

Paul was fighting agianst the Corinthian church talking behind his back in 2 Corithians. His very character was being compromised. What did he do?
He appealed to the truth of God to defend him. He let the light of God in his being and character be the defense agianst the lies of the evil one.

Don't worry about the hearts of others or what they think of your heart.
Just focus on your own heart make sure its in the right place at all times. Pray and let God use that to do the rest.

"If God is for me? Who can be agianst me?"

Limitless

So for the past few months God has been trying to tell me something but every time he did I couldn't interpret it right. It happened 3 times the first two time I was FREAKING OUT because it felt like nothing I understood was what it was but at the same time it was. My mind was so set in the thinking that God's will and plan was singular and one. Which is true and also not true. So when God opened my Spirit to experience and see some of His limitless possibilities and creativity of course my flesh got confused. It still is. It wasn't until the third time God revealed this to me that I got it. Thanks to a friend who was there to explain. I know this blog is just bleh.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Don't put God in a box. The things that we think are set in the way we perceive reality is not necessarily like that in the way God see's things.

Is everything predestined? yes and no
Is there only one plan that God has for your life? yes and no
Are there more than one potential partner for you? yes and no.

Confusing? yes and no

The best thing to in response to this is
"Fear God and obey his commands"

juat BE and stop trying to do things to try to change your reality
it is what it is, It'll be what it'll be
As Christians our job isn't to change the world (thats God's)
its to uphold who He is in the way we live our lives.

Uncomfortable

I feel weird going back home to live in luxury.
I feel uncomfortable being comfortable.
I don't need all this stuff; it makes it harder to focus on God.
I think when/if I grow up I will definitely NOT want to be stuck living the suburban middle class lifestyle.

I feel trapped and confined. Like its sucking the life out of me.
I want to go live like Jesus.
Cuz its only in His presence where I feel comfortable.

Lately God has blessed me with A LOT of money. I sorta wish I didn't get so much of it cuz I don't know what to do with it. I feel like giving it away or something.
At least I can pay for Urbana =)

Last Week

Its not going to be an easy last week.
I'm tired and running out of love.
Today was pretty crazy.

Need some wisdom, self control and discernment.

A little Humilty

So lately God has been telling me some heavy things.
Things about life, things about myself.
Revealing to me where my giftings are at and a whole lot of other stuff.

I need prayer so i don't get too proud with the position God has put me in
and also prayer on how I can use what he has given to me to glorify His name and help those around me.

Also for support in general.

thanks

I'm being hated on ....>.<

So if you haven't read the most recent comments on my blog.
They have been very uh..... derogatory =(
Being mocked for the name of JESUS

It makes me a little sad and happy!

Please keep praying =)
thanks yous.

Crazy Battle

Today was crazy. One of the leaders got sick last minute and had to leave the other went to a conference in Montreal. That left us with 2 leaders to do everything and 20 youth. The ratio is supposed to be 1:6.

On top of that the youth were possessed today or something.
There was stuff going on everywhere. I could feel something was off.

The key to the battle is too be able to control your emotions and not get angry. To be able to be patient and respond with love in every situation. Its tempting to respond in anger but a Christian does not overcome evil with evil but with good.
Its hard when the kids talk back to you, don't listen to you, tell you they don't like you and are always going into the kitchen trying to steal food.

I saw a lot of things today.
Some of the kids are caught up in some serious stuff. They don't understand the consequences of what they are doing.

On the surface things appear to be ok, but when you look deeper things are far from it.

There's a battle not against the flesh, but against the principalities of this dark world

Pray